Be The Presence in Any Room

©Ralph Jean-Paul

In Be a Presence pt 1 and An Even BIGGER Presence , I covered voice, walking into a room, and many other things you can do to increase your presence so if you haven’t read those I suggest you go back and take a look at them. For social or business, having a presence is a great advantage. Performers who are able to project their presence to the audience are always viewed as more entertaining, confident and captivating. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could take that amazing ability to draw attention with you in your everyday life? Some people do and so can you.

Second Skin

In the first Be a Presence… I talked about creating an image and projecting the kind of presence you want others to pick up. One way (but certainly not the only way) is to be aware of the way you dress. Your clothes are your second skin. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they dress and you tell people a lot about yourself by the way you dress. Animals in this world use their skin, fur, and feathers to tell other animals about themselves. Brightly colored snakes are warning possible predators that they are poisonous, porcupines use their spiked fur to deter attacks, and peacocks use their tail feathers to attract a mate.

But unlike those animals, we humans have the choice to change our second skin in order to project what we want to tell others about ourselves. The presence you want to present should be reinforced by your second skin. Want to be seen as extroverted, fun, and outgoing, then your clothes should show that. If you want to be viewed as credible, professional, and poised then your cloths should speak the same language. Remember that your look and clothes are not what give you presence but it will definitely add to your presence if chose the right clothes for you.

Peacock-Do not be afraid of using the peacock approach to enhance your presence. Wearing a few bright colors or a unique article of clothing is a good way to get noticed. It is very possible to go overboard with this but if done right, you will send a message that you have the confidence to wear something that will get attention. A big part of having a presence is confidence, so wearing colors or a style that other people may be afraid to wear is an excellent way of standing out. Find the right color for your skin tone and switch it up from time to time.

Like a Glove-Everybody should have at least two outfits that are tailored or that fit like they are. A sharp, polished look is always attractive especially if it fits like it was made for you. Clothing manufactures cut their garments differently. This is why a large t-shirt made by Ralph Laruen may fit differently than one made by Hanes. Having an outfit tailored so that it fits you perfectly in the shoulders, chest, waist, and is the right length, is an absolute great way to enhance your look.

Fit the Occasion- Along with the kind of clothes you choose to wear to enhance your presence, you should also be mindful of where you are going to be. Whether you are going to a party, networking event, convention, or out to dinner, you should attempt to make your clothing fit the occasion but at the same time avoid looking just like everyone else. I have heard stylist repeat “no matter where you are, be the best dressed person there”.

Conversation Commando

The way you converse with others is a very important part of your presence. Not only to the person that you are talking to, but to the other people in the room that are observing your interaction. How well do you keep the other person’s attention? Are you attracting other people into the conversation? These are some things that gauge your ability to attract the attention of other people. The easier it is for you to start and perpetuate conversations the more your presence will be noticed by others around you.

Be easy to talk to-In Start Meaningful Conversations I wrote some ways to start and maintain good conversations. Being a down to earth and an easy going conversationalist enhances the force of your presence.

Be easy to approach-Your body is sending signals about your approachability. Being easy to approach is mostly about body language. You should have open gestures to the other people around you. Eye contact with others and body positioning are indicators of your openness to being approached. A smile, nod, or simple a greeting in passing are excellent ways to project your confidence and draw others to yourself.

Float through the room-The easier it is for you to maneuver through a room, the bigger the impression you will have on the people you interact with and the other people who witness how smoothly you can work a room. This mobility creates a presence because it shows that your personal territory expands as far as the room does. Those individuals who find themselves in corners and trapped in their own personal space tend to blend into the backdrop of the room.

Don’t Force It

In your quest to raise and establish your presence, it is very important that you don’t force your presence projection. There is a great difference between those who can be THE presence in any room they walk in and those who are crying out for attention. Your presence should come from a deep sense of confidence and self assurance. Those individuals who try too hard to get attention are really trying to gain the approval of others in order to gain self confidence and self assurance. Relying on other people to fuel your confidence is never a good idea.

Being THE presence means being fully aware of your ability to control and effect your atmosphere. It means having the capacity to influence everyone in the room whether you carry on a conversation with them or not. Having presence is having an unseen power that is a strong mix of confidence, assertiveness, and attractiveness that seems to spark the interest of everyone else in the room.