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Be An Even BIGGER Presence
© 2007 Ralph Jean-Paul
Well here it is. A complete list of things you can do that will make
you stand out, project confidence, and make others wonder who you are.
For those of you who haven’t yet, read my post “Be a
Presence in Any Room” and you’ll benefit more from what you
are about to read. We covered looks and voice in part one so now
it’s on to body language and this time I’ve decided to do
something a little different. You may want to save this page or print
it out so that you can reference the list quicker. Let’s get to
it.
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Walking into a Room
A few years back I was waiting in line at the DMV when a
man walked into the room. He was about 6’3” and probably in
his late 30’s or early 40’s. I couldn’t help noticing
that everyone else in line noticed him walking into the room also. I
heard someone whisper “I think he is on channel 9.” Sure
enough, he was an anchorman from a local TV station. He stood there in
line for about 10 minutes and then walked out. But before he left he
engaged in a short conversation with the person that was next to him.
I’m sure that person was impressed with the conversation they
shared. I was more impressed with the way he walked in the room. Here
are some things that you can do to increase your attention getting
skills.
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-Head should be up and shoulders back
-Acknowledge and greet the first person you come across
-If you are entering a room where you do not know anyone, take a moment and stand at or near the doorway.
-Be ready to smile and converse with any and everybody
Homework: Men- watch how Brad Pitt and George Clooney enter a room in Oceans 11, 12 or 13
Women- watch Angelina Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith
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The Eyes
It is much easier to
fake emotions with the lower part of the face than it is with the upper
part. People smile all the time when they are not happy but the eyes,
eyebrows and forehead usually tell more than the mouth does. When you
are looking or talking to someone your brain is picking up non-verbal
cues which are subconsciously telling you all about that person. That
means that other people’s subconscious is telling them all they
need to know about you too. Here are some ways to effectively use your
eyes.
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-Eye contact should be at least 2-3 seconds before you shift attention
-Your stare should be direct and not shifting constantly away
-Avoid looking down for a long period of time
Homework: Men Watch Denzel Washington in just about anything
Women Watch Julia Roberts in just about anything
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Standing While Talking
Since this involves
your arms, legs, posture, and head, the way you stand tells others what
your confidence level is and what mood you are currently feeling. This
is also one of the best times to project your confidence in a room or
in front of an audience. If you are conversing with a group of people
then your body language while you are talking will let everyone know
how confident you are.
-Stance should reflect the image you want to project.
-No fiddling with clothes
-No swiveling your head constantly
-No rocking back and forth
To project a powerful, confident presence
-Stand with your shoulders squared and back
-Face the room or audience directly
-Gestures should accompany what you are saying not overshadow it.
Homework: Men- watch Robert De Niro
Women- Grace Kelly, Hally Berry, or Nicole Kidman
Side note- Find the Light
Wherever you go be very mindful of where you gravitate. Some people may
walk into a room of strangers, lap around the room one time, and then
find the nearest corner to nest in. You want your presence to be felt.
Begin to identify the places in the room where your presence can easily
be felt and seen. In other words gravitate towards the light. Walls,
corners, and shadows are dead zones. You must minimize or eliminate
your self-consciousness in order to fully project your presence. If you
are comfortable in your own skin then that comfort will be seen and
felt by those around you.
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If you found this helpful send it to a friend
or you can use one of these to spread the word.
Related Post
-Be a Presense in Any Room
-An Even Bigger Presense (series pt2)
-Be THE Presense in Any Room (series pt3)
-Develop Mental Toughness
-Start Meaningful Conversations
-Everlasting Motivation
-Dreaming of Success
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