Have
you ever been in a situation where you missed an opportunity to talk to
someone that you wanted to meet? Maybe it was because you
didn’t know what to do, how to act or what to say. Meeting
anyone anytime or anywhere may sound difficult or improbable, but
actually, it’s easier than you might think. Partnerships,
romantic relationships, and friendships all begin with a meeting.
After reading this, you will have a better understanding of how to
effectively meet the people you want to associate with.
Get Noticed Have you ever been in a
store quietly browsing the merchandise when suddenly a store clerk
comes out of nowhere to ask you if you need help? Most people
instinctively respond with a statement like, “No, I’m just
looking?” We do this not because we don’t need help
but because we are trying to repel the clerk. You can expect a
similar reaction from most people you meet if you haven’t first
made your presence known. When the person or people you want to
meet have acknowledged your presence, you have a better chance of
engaging in a successful conversation. When you establish a
presence you are informing everyone in the room that you are confident
and worth talking to. Here are a few ways to establish a confident
presence.
Present your image-We
would all love to live in a world where appearance doesn’t
matter. But let’s be honest, it does. That is why it
is important that you choose the clothes that reflect the image you
want people to have of you. Know the type of impression you want
to make and how you want to project your presence. Then, dress
yourself in clothes that fit that image. For example, if you want
to be perceived as fun, outgoing, or extroverted. Wear clothes
that are brightly colored or have attention getting patterns and
logos. If you want to be perceived as a person who “has it
together”, sharp, or stylish, wear clothes that fit your
body. You should have at least one outfit that is tailored to fit
you or at least looks like it was. Pick up the pace-Studies
have shown that a person who walks with a faster pace is perceived by
other people to be more important. According to Dr. David Swartz,
people seem to identify them as more confident and having somewhere
important to be. People who walk faster also seem to be surer of
themselves and are seen as knowing exactly where they are going.
If you walk with a slightly slower tempo, try walking a little bit
faster. Own your space-Occupy
your space with confidence. Whatever space you have, own
it! Great speakers and performers know how powerful owning their
space can be. They move freely all over the stage and even into
the audience. By doing this, they let the audience know that they
are in control of their given space. The more space they own, the more
confident they seem. Stand with your shoulders back, make bigger
gestures and move freely in your given space. If you feel as
though you don’t have that much space to work in, make sure your
voice is clear and can be heard. If you can’t own your
space physically, projecting your voice is a good way to let people
know you are there.
Prepare to Have a Good Answer During a new
conversation or meeting, people are just getting to know one
another. Asking questions is the fastest and most common way to
get acquainted with someone you’ve just met. Although there
is no sure way of telling which direction a conversation will go, there
are some questions that seem to show up in almost all first
meetings. Here are some questions you will have to answer
eventually when meeting someone new. -Your name
-Where you were born
-Where you were raised
-What you do for a living
-School or College you attended or are currently attending
-A hobby, sport, or pastime you take part in -Are you single, married or divorce
When you meet someone for the first time you should have something
memorable, funny, or interesting to say so that you can leave a
positive impression on that person. Since you know that you will
have to answer at least one of the questions above, have a story, joke,
or something interesting ready to say that is related to the
question. My first name is Ralph and my last name is Jean-Paul
and for years when I would meet someone new they would jokingly say,
“Hey, you have three first names. Your parents couldn’t decide on just one?”
I’ve been hearing that joke since grade school. When I
introduce myself, I know that there is a possibility that they will
notice the uniqueness of my name; so I already know what to say.
Do you have a funny story about your school or college? Were you
born in a unique way or place? Do you have anything interesting
to say about your job or what you do with your time? Of course
you do! Be prepared to use that story, joke, or info to give the
person you are meeting insight into who you are and your magnetic
personality.
Pay Attention
If you’ve ever seen a game show you’ve probably noticed the
host holding an index card before introducing the contestants.
That card, as you might have already figured out, contains some
information about each contestant. It may be an interesting fact,
an odd profession, or a unique experience that person may have
had. Whatever is written on that card, the host has something to
start a short dialog with in order for the audience to acquaint
themselves with the contestant.
Wouldn’t
it be nice to have someone hand you an index card with the hobby,
favorite song, or background of a person you are about to converse
with? In the real world, it’s not that easy. But
there is a way to gain some insight into a person’s personality
before you even say a word to them.
As human beings we are constantly communicating. Facial
expressions, words, and body language are common methods humans use to
convey a message. But if you pay attention closely, you will see
other signs that will give more insight into a person’s life,
hobbies, and background.
The way a person walks, dresses, cuts their hair, wears their glasses
and present themselves is a big indication of who that person is.
Anything unusual such as unique accessory items or clothing items not
only gives you a great conversation starter, but you can sometimes
gauge that person’s personality by what they use to represent
themselves with. There are many other ways to know about someone
before you know them. I have a friend who is very athletic and
has played sports all of his life. Being around athletes so much has
given him the ability to guess accurately what sport a person plays
just by observing their body type. Before you approach a person,
notice the clues that they use to tell the world who they
are.
Mirroring
You have probably heard of the technique called mirroring. Many
networking experts recommend this technique when trying to build
rapport. The idea is to mimic the other person’s body
language so that the person feels as though they are looking into a
mirror reflection of their expressions. But
here’s a question, what if the person is uncomfortable or
shy?
Their
body language will consist of obvious signs of their
uneasiness. Their eyes may be looking everywhere but in
your direction, their arms may be crossed, or perhaps they can’t
stop fidgeting. The feelings they may be having while talking to
you will reflect in their body language. Don’t force mirror
Instead of mirroring their body language and facial expressions, I
suggest that you should project body language that encourages
mirroring. Mirroring is a natural occurrence during
conversation. When people begin to connect and experience genuine
rapport with one another, they begin to unconsciously copy each
other’s gestures. Have you ever been on a dinner date that was
going really well? I once was on a date that started with the
girl acting as though she didn’t want to be there. Instead
of mimicking her closed body language, I chose to
send a message that I was very open, comfortable, and relaxed. As
we conversed and the night went on, we found ourselves in a stimulating
conversation that had both of us leaning towards one another.
Perhaps she was nervous or maybe she really didn’t want to be
there. The truth is, if I would’ve copied her body language
it would not be long before I felt nervous and also adopted the feeling
of uneasiness. When you are comfortable, in control, and relaxed,
the people who are around you tend to take on that feeling. So
instead of waiting to see what the other person will do so you can
mimic, project the feelings and emotions that you would like the other
person to have while talking to you.
Pay attention to the mood, atmosphere, and behaviors of the people
around you and make a positive comment on it. The faster you can
evoke a positive feeling the more well received the meeting will
be. Meeting people is not as difficult as it may seem. With
some preparation, practice and patience, you will find that everyone is
approachable. Read How to Start Meaningful Conversations for more
on how to meet new people.
If you found this helpful send it to a friend
or you can use one of these to spread the word.
Great post with great tips Ralph. I like the tip for using things we have
heard for years as an ice-breaker.
God only knows the times I've said "my
name is Lola, like the song". It works though, it doesn't seem to matter what
country I'm in, there's always a song about Lola!
In love, light and
abundance x x x
Ralph
Thanks Lola. I can think of 3 songs off the top of my head that have the name Lola in it.
