While being interviewed
about Michael Jordan, sportscaster Bob Costas said, “He has a force personality
that is not the same thing as sports talent but it elevates that talent. If you
knew nothing about basketball and he walked into the room you’d say, 'that’s
somebody, that’s got to be somebody'.” What is it about some people that makes
everyone take notice when they walk into a room? How can some speakers,
performers, or actors control and engage their audience better than others?
The
answer is presence. Having presence is having an advantage. Being a force in a
space means having an effect on what is happening around you. Those who tend to
shrink in their environment and fade into the background are usually at the
mercy of what’s going on around them. But the people who create a presence
around them are better equipped to influence and effect their environment and
ultimately, their circumstance.
What is
Presence?
The fifth definition
of presence in Webster’s Dictionary is dignified conduct of manner, but I like
the Random House Unabridged version which is the ability to project a sense of
ease, poise, or self-assurance. You’ve seen or have meet people like that.
Wherever they go people seem to notice them and they seem to have the attention
of everyone they come across. In order to have success with people, presence is
a huge advantage. Most people seem to confuse presence with being extroverted.
That’s understandable because most extroverts have presence. But not all who
have presence are extroverted. Look at the definition again. The key to having
presence is the ability to project it.
The Power of
Presence.
USA Today ran an
article on July 18, 2007 that looked at social dominance as a step up the
ladder. The article suggested that people who are taller, louder, and borderline
rude have an advantage in society over the people who tend to be invisible. Many
female CEO’s wear 3 and 4 inch heals to appear taller and studies have shown
that taller men tend to be more successful. Voice projection is essential if you
want to be an actor or singer and run way supermodels must be at least 5’ 8”.
Obviously people who make themselves seen and heard have an advantage.
But what if you are
shorter and do not have a loud voice, can you still have presence? The answer is
absolutely! Even though being bigger and louder can get you noticed easier,
presence is about what you project. It is possible that someone who is 6’ 8” and
loud can be seen from a distance, but if the way that person’s walk is slumped,
their voice is unappealing and they speak incoherently, what advantages do they
have? Take the example of Frank Sinatra. Jonny Carson once said that Frank was
the only person he knew that could walk into any room no matter the size and
every single person in that room would notice. This claim was repeated many
times by those who knew Frank. One actress said that he had a presence that
could be felt even when he was sitting in a room filled with people. Now let me
ask you, how can someone who is sitting down and not saying anything still have
presence?
The truth is no matter
how tall you are or how loud your voice is you can have a strong presence. But
you have to learn what kind of presence you want and you have to learn how to
project it. In social situations it is just as important to have a force of
presence. When you meet someone new, whether you like it or not, you are being
judged. And, whether you like it or not you are judging. The way your brain
takes in information is through your senses.
So when you meet someone your senses are sending signals to your brain and
dropping off information about the person you are talking to. How they look, how
they smell, how their voice sounds, what words they are using, etc. From all
that information they are sending, you are making a decision about them. It may
be positive, it may be negative, or it may be neutral. What I will show you is
how to create and image you want and projecting it thus creating a presence.
Ready?
Your Image
Before you go about
projecting an image, you have to know what image you want to project. The image
you want to project may change depending on the circumstances. If you are on a
job interview the image you want to portray is one of intelligence, competence,
and confidence right? But if you are out with your friends you may want to
project a fun, energetic, and approachability. You do not have to change who you
are in order to project a different image. You can be the exact same person and
integrate your intelligence and competence into your social life or fun and
energy into your work life. The key is to choose which one is best for that
circumstance and being able to project it so that those around you will receive
the message that you are sending clearly enough so that your presence can be
felt. There are three main components that make up your image.
1. Looks and
presentation
2. Voice and
words
3. Body
language
When you are beginning
to learn how to create a presence you must be aware of these three things. In
order to project self-assurance however, you must not appear to be concerned
with these things. Someone who is confident in the way they present themselves
does not constantly adjust their clothing. I have evaluated many speakers and
the one thing that is a gauge of that person’s confidence is how they are
wearing their clothes and how they control their body.
I was leaving my office
building one day and I saw a young man in the lobby. He was about 18 or 19 years
old and wearing a nice blue suit and tie. I concluded that he was probably
waiting for an interviewer to escort him to the correct department. Although he
was dress very sharp I could immediately tell that he was not use to dressing
up. He was standing with both hands in his pocket and trying to look calm. At
first glance he did look calm but I noticed two things that gave him away. First
his eyes were shifting from right to left at everyone in vicinity.
That constant looking around made him appear to be very anxious and uneasy.
Secondly kept shifting his weight from the left leg to the right leg and then to
the back of his heels. He also kept looking down at his suit shoes. Now, there
could’ve been many reasons why he was looking down at his suit and shoes. Maybe
he was checking himself to make sure that his clothes were clean. The problem is
if you are standing in a lobby and nobody spilled coffee on you, chances are
your clothes are as clean as they were 5 seconds ago when you checked them. To
me it he didn’t seem as though he was checking his clothes. It seemed more to me
that he realized that he cleans up nice. Although he was probably impressed with
the way he put himself together, people passed him without acknowledging him at
all. Presence is not just looks. You can look great and still shrink in room or
on stage if you do not project what those looks represent.
Voice
One day my sister and
I were talking in our mother’s kitchen. She began to tell me about her manager
who was striking and had a strong presence. My sister began to tell me that her
voice doesn’t carry as far as her manager’s voice. I told her that you don’t
need to be loud all the time but you need to project your voice when needed. I
demonstrated by finishing the sentence with a louder stronger tone.
“Whoa”, she said
“where did that come from?”
I told her that you
don’t have to strain your voice to be louder, you just have to project your
voice from your diaphragm during key statements. I do not have a loud voice. But
I have learned how to project it when I need to. I was asked to speak at an
Adelphia Cable staff event about a year ago. Before the meeting I started to
feel a slight sore throat and my voice was going. As I was presenting, I could
feel my voice getting lower and lower in volume. Since I knew the impact of my
speech would be affected if nobody heard me, I decided use the same technique
that I told my sister about. I anticipated the key portions of my speech and
projected my voice during the important points.
You can use the same
technique in everyday life if your voice is not loud or strong. When you meet
someone for the first time, project your voice so that your name and your
greeting are clear. When having a one on one conversation, it is not necessary
to project your voice so that others can hear your conversations. Voice
projection is best when talking to or with a group of people so that your
presence is established.
These are some major
components to acquiring presence. When you begin to understand and apply these
things the difference will be felt.
Visit back soon for part2where I'll show you the
power of presence and body language.
If you found this helpful send it to a friend
or you can use one of these to spread the word.
