Bounce Back After Failure

 

One of the best learning tools that are available to us as human beings is also the same tool that we are most afraid of.  It’s interesting how even the thought of failing at even the simplest task can prevent most people from even attempting that task.  In the greater scope of achieving life goals, the fear of failure is an enormous hurdle for most people to jump.  The truth is failure cannot be avoided forever.  Those who attempt to flee from it their entire lives almost certainly miss great opportunities and even greater rewards.

I am a firm believer that your success may be depended upon how well and how quickly you can bounce back from failure.  People bounce back from failure all the time but the difference between those who recover and manage, and those who recover and succeed, lies in the individual’s ability to recover quickly.  The pain and disappointment of coming up short may send you into an emotional spiral filled with questions, doubts, and promises to yourself to never try again, but those normal reactions to failure usually subside.  And when they do, your reaction to that failure will determine if you succeed.

For instance, if you just got let go from a good paying job, it may be time to question whether or not this is the career path you would like to continue down and if going back to school would be a good idea.  Whether you are looking for organizational leadership degree courses or would like to start your MBA degree, you can find more help online about whether or not this is a good fit for you.  Virtually, these degrees could be used anywhere you go.

Two Types of Failures                                                                                                            

There are two major ways to fail.  One way is to make a mistake or judgment call that turns out to be wrong.  This happens in sports constantly.  The coach of a team may call the wrong play that cost his team the game.  It is also prevalent in business.  The CEO of a company may decide to launch a new product that he thinks will bring dramatic growth for the company, but instead the product may flop on the market and the company rushes to recover from the loss.  You are making hundreds of decisions a day so inevitably some of those decisions are going to be wrong.  This type of failure revolves around what you did wrong.  That is hard for some people to take while others would rather have that burden on their shoulders so that they can improve for the next time.

The other type of failure is when you do everything right, put all of your efforts and energies into your pursuit of success, and even do everything to prevent something from going wrong, but in the end, you still come up short.  These kinds of letdowns are particularly hard to handle because of the feelings of helplessness associated with them.  However, some people take this type of failure as a cue that they are close to reaping their reward.  They view it as a matter of time not a matter of their ability to perform what is needed to achieve what they want.

Although these failures are hard to take, they are not impossible to overcome.  Everyone experiences these defeats and everyone handles them differently.

Bouncing Back

Change ‘Failure’ to ‘Setback’

The first way to prepare to bounce back from a failure is to change your perception of that failure.  I suggest that you change the word failure to setback.  Once you begin to look at your shortcoming as an event that knocked you back instead of one that knocked you down, you’ll begin to see that it is very possible to recover from the letdown.  This also helps you acknowledge that bumps in the road are common but they are also manageable.

Avoid generalizing

When we get frustrated we tend to generalize our situations and make broad statements that are not necessarily true.  Saying “this always happens….” or “ I never….”  are detrimental to your recovery process because what you are really doing is setting yourself up for another loss.  Understanding that the setback that took place is a solitary event helps you recover quicker.  Instead of generalizing your statements prepare yourself for the future by making saying what you want to happen.

Assess the damage

Along with your change of perception should come a clarity of the situation.  Assessing the damage is looking at what you have lost in the setback and determining how far you have been setback.  To most people the feeling of failure usually makes the situation appear worse than it really is. Begin to take a good look at what has been lost and what has remained.

Collecting and Resetting

Once you’ve gotten a good idea of what has been lost it is time to start picking up the pieces.  Collecting and resetting is difficult if you have not yet prepared yourself to move forward.  The resetting is not necessarily taking a step back but it is more like readjusting yourself so that you are in a better position to succeed.

Lot of livin’ to do

An overwhelming majority of life’s failures are not life threatening.  This means that life goes on even though you came up short.  We sometimes overanalyze our setbacks to the point of making them larger than life.  What you have to remember is that there is still a lot of livin’ to do and each second wishing and wondering about things happening differently, is a second wasted.  A perspective that the setback that you’ve experienced is temporary helps aide the emotions that are associated with failure.  Try to remember that even though you’ve experienced a setback, there are still many more opportunities ahead even if you do not see them right away.

Getting up and getting back out there is the only real way to live.  Some of the most successful people in the world credit their success to a failure they’ve experienced.  Bounce back from your failure and you might become one of them.

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  • Helene Hodges

    Excellent concept but have not been able to download to make additional comments.

  • ralphjp

    Try it again so see if you are able.

  • Hdxsjs

    sooooper..

  • ralphjp

    Thanks!

  • vanessa

    this has motivated me alot ..thanks

  • ralphjp

    You’re welcome!!

  • Efeefe

    This helped me overcome a disaster in my student life.. thank you

  • ralphjp

    You’re welcome!

  • James

    Thank you for this. I am 24 and experienced a small business failure. I had to return home and thought my life was over. My dreams were done. It has been a process bouncing back, but I am slowly recovering.

  • ralphjp

    You’re welcome. Sorry to hear about the business setback. But I’m glad to hear that you are bouncing back.

  • ralphjp

    You’re welcome. Sorry to hear about the business setback. But I’m glad to hear that you are bouncing back.

  • Aravind Dileep

    This article is good enough but i have come up very very short of expectations of my family and myself in my studies. I worked so much, done everything right but I couldn’t perform at the time when it was needed the most. I failed in something that decided my life. Now my failure will be tagged for the rest of my life as I wont be able to take the 11th and 12th grade stream of science, one which i always wanted.

    Somebody please tell me what I should do? Help Me.

  • ralphjp

    It is always difficult to lose out on something that you have always wanted. It is heartbreaking and frustrating. However, you are still young and will come across many more opportunities to prove yourself. Make sure that you are on the lookout for those opportunities and be sure to be ready for them when they come.

    If you are having trouble performing when it counts, I suggest reading this http://potential2success.com/develpomentaltoughness.html It will help you get started. Good luck and keep me updated on your progress.

  • Kayo

    You are so young – there will be many opportunities for you to follow your dreams. It sounds like you are not in the US – where people get to take course over, reapply to college etc. Is it not possible for you to find another avenue to your goal? Good luck – always believe in yourself. You just hit a pothole in the road of life. Your family should be supportive and not beat you down.

  • appa

    i have been a huge failure now i lost everything i worked and worst i still owe people alot of money, while it was due to my stupid mistakes and doing things my way. now im at the bottom and its not nice here. my only concern now is my son(im a single dad) hes the only one that keeps me in check. im slowly going to depression i can feel it. one by one everything i worked hard for is gone….i still have some solid assets though..im thinking of selling them already so i can recover from this huge loss. there were moments that i thought of just ending my life but i love my son too much that i cant leave him coz of this failure. i have to just swallow my pride and start over again, i think…

  • ralphjp

    Sorry to hear about your losses. Setbacks that big can be devastating. Your son is a really important reason to press on and recover from this. Getting some support around you is essential for your redemption and to avoid falling into depression. Friends, family, and community that support you will help greatly during this trial. Best of luck and keep me posted on your progress.

  • appa

    i have been a huge failure now i lost everything i worked and worst i still owe people alot of money, while it was due to my stupid mistakes and doing things my way. now im at the bottom and its not nice here. my only concern now is my son(im a single dad) hes the only one that keeps me in check. im slowly going to depression i can feel it. one by one everything i worked hard for is gone….i still have some solid assets though..im thinking of selling them already so i can recover from this huge loss. there were moments that i thought of just ending my life but i love my son too much that i cant leave him coz of this failure. i have to just swallow my pride and start over again, i think…

  • Chibole

    i got the news that i have to retake my year,im glad to have found a few steps that will help me out with the minor setback.BETTER THINGS ARE COMING :):)